New Beginnings! CTRG Sponsorship!

I’m tickled pink, black & blue to announce the new sponsorship we have with CTRG! What a great feeling! We got the privilege of making a couple handfuls of decals for CTRG. In fact we’ve had many 1st’s with CTRG now since they were our first team order & now sponsorship!

It’s been a total thrill to work with you ladies! Thanks for everything! Why does everything derby feel soo good? Wait! Don’t tell me! I can’t keep a secret! Let’s just ride this one as it crests. Time to go swing some chains & crack some whips!

CTRG News in the news & sign up for newsletter


The Daughters of the American Derby Revolution!

CT All Stars The Stepford Sabotage
vs. Green Mountain Derby Dames


CT Yankee Brutals
vs. Assault City Roller Derby

Doors Open @ 5pm, First Bout @ 6pm TICKETS: $10 in Advance, $12 at the door (CASH ONLY)Kids under 12 FREE with a paying adult.Tickets for CTRG home bouts are now available for purchase at Diamond Designs, 500 Boston Post Road, Orange. Cash only. $10 per ticket.






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Roller Derby Equipment Care & Gear

Washing your equipment is essential. There are several ways to wash them from putting them into the shower with you after practice to running them in the dishwasher. The way I prefer is to hand wash with a mild soap or shampoo in the sink. Cold water rinse well. You can put pads into the washing machine on the spin cycle only to get the excess water out, blot between a towel or let drip dry in the tub or sink on hangers or clothesline. Never use laundry soap for hand washing without using gloves. Never say never. Can you say c-h-e-m-i-c-a-l p-e-e-l ?

Alternately to hand washing, you can put the pads into your automatic dishwasher and run a normal/light load and rinse cycle. Again you can run these on a spin cycle only in the washing machine to remove excess water. I recommend using my homemade dishwasher powder recipe.

If you have the freedom & luxury to be able to hang on an outdoor clothesline, this is a great way to dry your pads during warm weather. The sun kills bacteria that causes odors. If you can’t wash your pads as frequently as you want, hang them out in the sun to freshen & kill germs.

Helmets are a hidden equipment stench of derby! Ever washed your helmet? Check your chin straps! Can’t find that stench you keep smelling? It’s right under your nose (chin)! Remove the Velcro pads in your helmet and gently hand wash in warm water with mild soap & cold water rinse. Hang or gently squeeze in a towel to dry. Don’t rub the inserts vigorously, they are usually made of thin foam rubber and are delicate. Submerge whole helmet in sudsy water while washing with your hands paying particular attention to those sweaty straps. Rinse & hang or hand dry.

To clean your gear in a pinch, stop the shower drain up while you shower, drop pads in. Give ’em a squirt of shampoo, stomp, stomp, stomp, rinse, rinse again, hang or spin dry. (That is so Derby!)

Mouth guards are mandatory. You will be ejected from the building without one. I have a snap on lid little plastic container to use. A plastic bar soap travel container or a denture container would work too. rinse mouth guard as soon as you can & dry well. Store wrapped in paper towel inside container to keep fresh for next use. Most mouth guards have an insurance form for dental coverage should you come to the event of having a mouth injury. Fill that out and send it in for coverage.

Well fitted, properly operating equipment is a major part of derby. Must haves are knee & elbow pads, wrist guards, helmet & mouth guard. I also strongly recommend sweatpants, tights, 2 layers pantyhose/fishnet stockings, yoga pants, leggings, long socks (poly blend to minimize friction & blisters), something to cover all the skin on your legs for those falls or baseball slides! The floor will peel the skin right off your body! Speed+contact=friction+rinkrash! And while I think the fishnet scars are the only scars I ever want if I ever wanted scars, the rinkrash I want to avoid! It is one of the most painful injuries you can get, sans, sitting on a wheel, broken bones, bashed backwards knees & busted tailbones. Rinkrash hurts! When skating/falling outdoors it’s known as roadrash. You can also get carpet burns at the rink, if you get too close to the wall. It’s all about the equipment. The safer & more protected you feel on the floor, the more confidently you can exercise your derby skill and bounce off the floor and walls with minimal repercussions. I also recommend using a poly sports bra. I use to get total nipple hard-ons from my cotton sport bra getting saturated in my sweat then cooling off ‘the girls’ to such an extent that my nipples were hard the whole practice. If you ever experienced this it isn’t pleasant! It hurts! The poly bras wick the wetness away, keeping the girls happy & calm. That’s one of my highest recommendations.

Optional equipment may include headband or bandanna under helmet to protect hair from breakage & absorb perspiration, elbow, knee or ankle support worn under pads, bottom/butt pads with or without plastic inserts, fingerless gloves or wristies, headband, leg warmers, (sometimes worn on the upper arms/elbows, too).
If your hair is long enough to braid or put into ponytails make sure you do so at a point on your head that won’t interfere with the fit of your helmet. Have helmet strap fit under chin snugly. Double chins are sexy! Intact heads are sublime!

My pads & equipment are my constant skating helpmates. I would have knocked myself out a long time ago had I not been properly equipped! And while stinky pads may be an effective defense, it’s offensive. We will sniff you out and destroy you. Bwaahahahahahaaa….

When hanging laundry is illegal only outlaws will hang out clothes.

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Green Hell

I’ve been stuck in green hell making my own choice of cleaning, bath & beauty products for over *20 yrs. now. My mom says I’m the greenest person she knows. I cloth diapered both my kids. I recycle. I compost, mulch & give food scraps to the chickens. I hang my laundry out on the clothesline in good weather. We pull weeds. Don’t spray. We grow a drought tolerant landscape. We wash the windows with vinegar & newspaper.

(GH) Automatic dishwasher soap

1 cup arm & hammer washing soda

1 cup 20 mule team borax

1 cup baking soda

1/2 cup granulated white sugar

Measure & mix all ingredients together

Store in a sealed container

Use 1/2 T. per washing cup

I love to use this and have with success for several years now. I read to use vinegar in the rinse for sparkling dishes. But be aware! If you have a polished stainless steel dishwasher-the vinegar will etch the surface! If your dishes come out cloudy, you are using too much powder. You only need exact tablespoon measure! I know it seems like too little but it’s not. If you have used conventional powders for a long time, you might want to run an empty load with the new powder to clean the surfaces of any residue. Conventional powders can have toxic chemicals including chlorine & perfumes in them. Sure, they get the dishes clean & smell good, but to what expense of our health, safety & environment? If you are chronically ill, have had an organ transplant or have a serious disease such as cancer, it is advised to not use conventional powders for they pose a hazard to ‘at risk’ & environmentally sensitive or allergic people. The vapors that arise in the air from the hot steam carries these chemicals into our bodies & environment. If you are undergoing chemotherapy, it is advised not to use conventional dishwasher powders. My recipe above is as safe as it can get without sacrificing the needed cleaning power.
I hate the thought of doing the dishes! Once I get started I surrender but I hate the thought! GREEN HELL!

(GH) All purpose surface cleaner

Put into a 32 oz. spray bottle:

1 tsp. 20 mule team Borax

1/2 cup hot water

Stir until dissolved. Add:

2 T. white vinegar

2 oz. liquid soap (I use Dr. Bronner’s peppermint)

Top off with cool water. Use/spray liberally on all washable surfaces.

Optional: add 20 drops of rosemary, eucalyptus or lavender essential oil.

I use this on the linoleum & painted wood floors, walls, sinks, stove, toilet, bathtub, toys, outdoor furniture, any surface that can be washed/wiped clean! It smells great, cleans & disinfects odors, germs, molds & bacteria.
I have also used this with the wet jet type mops. Only it’s the Clorox mop that has a screw off lid/refillable container so I recommend buying that one. The other brand has the lid welded on the bottle making it a throwaway product that is not refillable, therefore an environmental liability, so screw them & don’t buy bullshit wetjet. You can use pliers, screwdrivers & other tools and gouge yourself up trying to open it to refill but I don’t recommend. Buy the Clorox mop kind if you don’t use rags with your feet like I usually end up doing.
To Use-I dilute the all purpose spray solution by 1/2 with water to clean the floors.
Optional-use a piece of fleece or old washcloth cut to fit the mop head so it can washed/reused. Use scraps of fleece with the dusting mops too!
If my floors are clean I worry much less about the rest of the clutter around the house.

(GH) Liquid Laundry Soap

1/3 bar Fels Naptha laundry soap, grated

6 cups water

1/2 cup washing soda

1/2 cup borax

Grate FN soap. If using a food processor, use the steel blade to cut the grate fine to help it dissolve faster. Heat 6 cups water and soap in a large pan with a lid until dissolved, stirring occasionally. Stir in washing soda and Borax. Mix and heat until dissolved. Bring to a boil. Simmer 15 minutes. Remove from heat. In a 3 or 5 gallon bucket, add 1 quart of hot water, then add the soap mixture. Mix well. Add enough cold water to make a 2 gallon mixture. Mix until well blended. I have a stick blender I use just for soaping. Let sit 24 hours. Use 1/2 cup for top loading machines and 1/4 cup for front loading. Makes 2 gallons. Approx. $ .40 per gallon = $ .01 a load.
Notes: Stir before each use as this soap may separate. It can be stored in a liquid detergent bottle. Just shake it up each time you use it. This detergent won’t suds up in the washer, but it is still getting your clothes clean. If you see suds, it may be removing detergent residue from your clothes & machine. (A good thing!) Works great with hot, warm or cold water wash. If you have extra hard water the soap may not clean as well. Add 1/2 cup baking soda to the load to help soften the water, which boosts your cleaning power. Use 1/2 to 1 cup distilled white vinegar as a fabric softener in the rinse. Chemicals used in fabric softeners & dryer sheets have been found in breast tumors.
Use a ball of foil in the dryer to eliminate static electricity. One ball can be used for several loads until it has to be replaced. Most of our clothes are natural fibers except for the fleece we use, which I like to hang dry. Fleece come out of the wash almost dry as it is. Never use high heat dryer setting for poly fleece.
I know you can just go to the store & buy laundry soap! But what’s the fun in that?

Elbow grease!
One of my favorite environmentally friendly cleaning products is Bon Ami scouring powder. Unlike most scouring powders, Bon Ami doesn’t have chlorine bleach in it. My sink was so bad, it’s an old white porcelain, that not even the oxy-clean stuff could whiten it! I tried some Bon Ami as a last ditch effort to make it look a little nicer and VOILA! it worked better than chemical cleaners & is safe. You can make your own soft scrub Bon Ami liquid by carefully mixing the powder with enough water or vinegar to make a paste. Use as you would scouring powder to clean sinks, tubs and other surfaces that need a little more scouring action.

Weak sponge gives all the punch clean you need.
If all else fails and you can’t get stubborn stains, grime and dirt off of surfaces, try one of the magic eraser type sponge cleaners or the knockoff version. These flimsy little sponges pack a powerful punch. They crumble right under your fingertips as you use them but as they do they ever so sweetly take the dirt with them as they go! I used one on the old white, 50’s style dining room table and chairs that came with the house we bought. The chairs were decades filthy! I just could not get the last of the dirt trapped in the texture off the vinyl seats. I used brushes and rags & regular sponges and bleach wipes. A slap down of lashings with a couple boxes of these extraordinary sponges and the chairs looked practically as good as the day they were made! Just be sure and read manufacturer instructions. These are not to be used on shiny surfaces as etching and dullness may occur. Use as directed.

Standards of cleanliness can be found using soap, baking soda, borax, vinegar & other inexpensive, easily attainable, safe ingredients. We can have safe products that work for very little cost to you or the living things on this planet. Quit polluting the planet with over priced, under feared chemicals laden with toxic perfumes. Just say no! Perfume will not make a dirty house smell better. Clean it!
Lastly & mostly, Dull women have immaculate houses. Nobody comes to see your house, they come to see you! So take it easy on yourself & use products you don’t mind crawling into the bed, bath & laundry or onto the floor, closet & drawers with and still respect you in the morning.

*Laura mastered cleaning at the age of 27 and has only dabbled in it as a hobby since.

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Mama says…

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold,  the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Q: What can we learn from this?
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. Most important- when you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

The Universal 6 Project Phases

1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise for the Non-Participants



1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
19. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
20. Every time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
24. This is as bad as it can get, but don’t count on it.
25. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
26. The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize.

Japanese vs. American management style

Two teams of American and Japanese corporations have a boat race. On the big day the Japanese win by a mile.
The discouraged Americans hire a consulting firm to investigate the problem. The findings are that the Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering while the American team had one rower and eight people steering. Based on these results, the American team is completely reorganized to include four steering managers, four steering area managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.
The following year the Japanese win again, so the Americans lay off the rower for poor performance and give the manager a bonus for discovering the problem.

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