Fonts and more fonts F#CK MY FACE!!!! MY EYES!!!

I have a disc that brags as it’s name 5000 FONTS. WOW!!!!!!!! 5000! Five Thousand! 5 thousand! Anything & everything ever woulda coulda been there! Ya think? But no. Fonts spill over like beer head foam wetting the soles of my shoes and making me walk sticky. I hate you 5000 Fonts! You dissect my eyes into pustules of globule blobs retreating until words are weapons gouging out my brain making a spot repetitively worn down where words are without any comprehension or meaning! Gibberish! All a blubbering mukluk of rambling nonsense passing before my eyes.*%@#$ ^KFCD#@ & O@IUB :LJJ HYR%# *^(& amp;* Y_ )(_)!@#$%^&*UIJZVDGSTFJYUHG:LH
Until my brain is saturated; dripping beer foam from my head holes. Grab a mug! 833R!

Don’t see a font you would like your name cut in on my font board?
Just give me the name of a font or a link or a style you like-retro, classic, geeky, horror, script, country, alien, stencil, metal, goth, modern, bats, graffiti… and I can find something to show you that you might like.


Not all fonts can be used in a cut vinyl art medium format. Scuffed, excessively jaggedy, worn, splattered, messy, extreme fine lines and points all aren’t able to be read and cut by the cutter/plotter machine and/or don’t wear well on something that gets a lot of use (hopefully) like a Roller Derby helmet. We are willing to do finer lined fonts if your black heart is set on something in particular. But we don’t have the same satisfaction guarantee for they may not wear as well as the heavier styled fonts we have chosen for you to match our vinyl medium. If you do opt for the more delicate styles, I recommend using a drawstring helmet bag so it doesn’t bash around inside your skate bag scuffing and peeling your decal.

I’ve got no bones about telling you it like it is.

Derby Luv always, Blastfemi


About Laura K

Professional graphic artist, sign maker, designer. Quick, friendly, professional service tailored to your specific needs with great attention to detail. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Made in USA of made in USA materials.
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5 Responses to Fonts and more fonts F#CK MY FACE!!!! MY EYES!!!

  1. Starslammer says:

    Love the new number! Beer is a great motivator;)

  2. Nik says:

    Is this where we get punched in the face for talking about BEER?

  3. Madame says:

    It means beer!!!!

  4. Thanks for encouraging my shamelessly self promoted blog by playing. You are all winners!

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